How To Stop Overthinking - 5 Ways to Deal With Negative Thoughts

When someone goes to the doctor and says “I hear a voice in my head”, they’ll most likely be sent to see a psychiatrist.

But just how different to you are they really?

In a similar way, virtually everyone hears a voice in their head, all the time.

An involuntary thought process and continuous monologue narrating, judging, analysing, comparing, complaining and doubting.

Most people live in conflict with their minds, struggling to find a moments peace and silence.

Not be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction that we don’t recognise because it’s become the norm.

Overthinking is a Problem, Not Your Personality

Perhaps the most important skill you could ever have is the ability to manage your thoughts.

I’ll hold my hands up - I’m slightly biased as this area is my job and my passion.

But think about it - you’re constantly thinking.

Our thinking shows up at home, at work, in your spare time.

Our internal voice follows us wherever we go, providing a running commentary of our every move, often in a critical and negative way - whether we like it or not.

Your thoughts are constantly there, so regaining control of your brain and managing what goes on in your mind is a critical skill you need - whatever, whenever and wherever the situation - 24/7.

Thoughts vs Thinking

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Can you be free of the mind whenever you want to? Have you found the off button?

If not - which is most of us - then the mind is using you.

This is where I’d draw the distinction between thoughts & thinking.

• Our thinking is an active, controlled process.
• Our thoughts happen to us, it’s a passive process often driven by fear.

Your mind is an incredibly useful instrument when used correctly, when we direct our thinking with an objective in mind.

This is thinking - present moment, directed doing.

Your mind should be a tool that you use for a specific task - to solve a problem, to find solutions and direct action - and when the task is complete, we lay it down.

But it only works like this maybe 10% of the time.

A lot of the time we don’t use our mind like this - our mind uses us.

Your Thoughts Are Incredibly Inaccurate

Random, weird, irrational, negative, destructive thoughts pop up out of no where, often when we least expect them and at the worst of times.

The mind creates certain stories, often based on fear and resistance, but we listen to, believe and identify with these thoughts - because why would we lie to ourselves?

And herein lies the problem, we trust the voice and see it as us.

We identify with our negative voice, even though it’s incredibly negative and inaccurate.

• You have between 60-80k thoughts per day
• 80% are negative
• 98% of what we worry about never comes true.

The reason why these numbers are important is because they illustrate something that’s really important - you don’t control all your thoughts - your are not your thoughts!

You couldn’t possibly actively choose to generate 60-80k thoughts a day and I don’t know anyone who’d choose for 4/5 of their thoughts to be negative - that’d be a miserable way to live life!

So what can we do about it?

The goal isn’t to get rid of all negative thoughts, it’s to learn how to deal with them.

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5 Ways To Deal With Negative Thoughts

Most people never learn how to combat what goes on in their mind, so here’s 5 techniques to manage your mind and stop overthinking.

They’re split into 2 different categories of Cognitive Detachment and Cognitive Reframing.

Cognitive Detachment

1. Name the character - Give your overthinking mind a name. Anxious Annie, nervous Nelly, irrational Rachael. This may sound silly but when we give our negative thoughts a name, it helps recognise they’re not us and creates separation.

2. Colour Breathe - Imagine your negative thoughts and feelings are a coloured cloud inside your head - what colour would they be? Red, black, grey? Now attach your thoughts to this coloured cloud inside your head, take a deep breath in, and do a long, slow exhale, visualising yourself exhaling the cloud of negativity. Deep breathing down regulates our nervous system and the visual element feels like a physical release.‍

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3. Mindfulness - Mindfulness, put simply, is present moment, non-judgemental awareness. It trains us to be present, with a quiet mind, allowing negative thoughts to pass on rather than spiral. Mindfulness is the best form of mental training to help you stop overthinking. Download our free Mindfulness Recording here.

Cognitive Reframing

4. Cognitive reframing is a classic psychological technique that helps us spot, challenge and replace negative, irrational and unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. Try the 3 C’s as a simple approach to reframing. Catch the negative thought before it spirals and leads to further emotion. Check whether the thought is accurate and helpful. Change it to something that’s more helpful and creates a more positive behavioural response.

5. Adopt Beliefs / Model Mindset - Think of someone you really look up to who has a great mindset. Then ask yourself - “how would I think/feel/behave if I was *person*?”. Rather than fighting or arguing our current thoughts, this allows us to bypass and sidestep our inner chatter and engage with a new belief by adopting the mindset of someone else.

Maybe the problem isn’t the problem. The problem is your thinking about the problem.

You don’t have to use all 5 of these techniques, but pick one and use it deliberately.

Overthinking is a problem, it’s not something you should have to just accept and put up with.

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